Can a house stand without a solid foundation? The simple answer is, “No, it can’t.”
Your relationship, like an unstable house, might last for a while – until a big storm or some of life’s challenges come along. If you don’t have trust as your foundation, you will fall.
You may think communication is the problem. Or lack of respect. Or that you just don’t spend enough time together. Any of these might be part of the problem, but if your trust is solid, then you will be able to see these important parts of your relationship in context and work together to improve on them. In actual fact, if you trust your partner, then you will respect them. If your partner trusts you, they won’t get insecure when you can’t spend all your time with them. The reality is that when there is no trust, then our perceptions become warped. Doubt creeps into all of our interactions and we don’t feel safe.
The good news is that even if trust has eroded or been broken in your relationship, you do have the choice to build it again. It might mean starting with a clean slate and learning to get really honest. Any secrets will keep a relationship sick and trying to build on that is like trying to build a house on sand. Re-building trust takes time and it takes changed behaviour, but it is possible.
