‘I just want us to be happy and not fight anymore!’
This is often the desperate plea of couples who come in to see us for coaching. Completely understandable when the relationship has broken to such a degree that every conversation turns into a screaming match. It is normal to just want for the arguments to stop. There seems to be this perception out there that a healthy relationship is one in which there is no conflict.
A relationship in which there is no disagreement or confrontation is one in which there is no real communication. Personality types often differ between partners. If two people are being real with each other and are having open and honest conversations, then there are bound to be differences of opinion. We all have emotional triggers, and our partners are almost certainly going to press them. We may clash over finances or parenting styles. Confrontations are going to happen.
Healthy relationships have disagreements and conflicting points of view. It’s how those conflicts are negotiated which matters. Learning how to disagree yet understand and respect your partner’s point of view at the same time is key. If that’s not possible in the moment, then learning to walk away before things get heated is wise.
